Wrestling in the Ring of Fire
“But the one thing that we all will have in common—regardless of our status—is that we are all wrestlers, fighting for our lives.” — Olivia N. McLean (author)
I believe that the spirits of ancestors guiding and speaking to us—they tell us stories, give us vivid allegories, or simply nudges of encouragement. I was cycling through bipolar depression last night, and I didn’t want to see another day. It was 4am, and I was journaling per my norm on sleepless nights. I wanted to share one of my entries with you here. And I hope it will grant you even a little bit of courage.
The following is an excerpt from my journal (the voiceover will accompany the excerpt):
“[…] So far, all I’ve known is constant struggle. And wrestlers get do tired; sometimes the only reward is having stayed in the fighting ring for so long. I feel so aged inside. It is as if the years I’ve lived had years within in them. My fighting ring has been surrounded with fire; the scorching heat on my back and the tongues of fire lashing at my heels. But I have stayed in the ring, despite wanting to leave it altogether, and to let fate determine if I would return. I keep telling myself that there is a prize for those who endure. It is the reward of embracing the intangible strength from within that carries us through one challenge, then through another. I (we) won’t always struggle—that I can be sure of, whatever the difficulty may be. But oh, when I get that trophy—the reward of endurance (how ever small it may be in the summation of the audience), I realize that I will be overshadowed by giants on tall pedestals who have acquired many well-deserved titles. My admiration of them is boundless, because I realize that everyone endures some sort of hardship—and that they could tell me many stories that this HSP (highly sensitive person) would shed tears over, feeling every loss and victory told. I will one day sit in allegorical locker rooms with the legends as the “rookie”. Maybe I will get a pat on the sweaty shoulder, or advice for soothing my sore muscles. But the one thing that we all will have in common—regardless of our status—is that we are all wrestlers, fighting for our lives. Fighting for dreams achieved and unrealized. Don’t throw in the towel; we’re in this world together, and who knows what we will achieve in our lifetime?”
Olivia M.
Copyright ©️2022 Olivia Nicole McLean. All rights reserved.
Phonographic Copyright ℗ 2022. Olivia Nicole McLean. All rights reserved.